Who Are You Beyond the Roles?

Friend. Partner. Parent. Coworker. Leader. The one who remembers the birthdays. The one who checks in. The one people call when they need something.

We collect roles without even realizing it.

And after a while, it can become hard to tell where the roles end and you begin.

I’ve been thinking about that lately.

Who am I when nobody needs anything from me?

Not who I am to someone else. Not what I do for work. Not what I’ve accomplished. Not what I’m responsible for.

Just me.

When the Roles Get Quiet

There’s nothing wrong with the roles we carry. Some of them mean everything to us.

But they can take up a lot of room.

You spend enough time being who everyone knows you to be, and eventually you can forget to ask whether there are parts of yourself that haven’t had much room lately.

Things you enjoy simply because you enjoy them.

Things you want that don’t need to make sense to anyone else.

Things you’re curious about.

Places you want to go.

The version of you who exists when there is nothing to accomplish, fix, manage, or take care of.

That person deserves some room, too.

Getting Reacquainted

Maybe reconnecting with yourself doesn’t require some huge transformation.

Maybe it starts smaller than that.

Ordering what you actually want.

Taking yourself somewhere just because you want to go.

Trying something you’ve been curious about.

Sitting in your own company long enough to notice what you think before asking everyone else what they think.

Paying attention to what makes you feel more like yourself.

There are pieces of us that can get buried underneath responsibility. They don’t disappear. Sometimes they’ve just been waiting for us to come back.

So, Who Are You?

Not your job title.

Not somebody’s mother, daughter, wife, partner, friend, boss, coworker, or anything else.

You.

What makes you laugh?

What are you interested in right now?

What do you want more of?

What have you changed your mind about?

What would you choose if nobody else had an opinion about it?

You don't have to turn those questions into homework.

Just notice what comes up.

Because maybe the point isn’t to discover some completely different version of yourself.

Maybe it’s simply to make a little more room for the person who has been there the entire time.